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1. |
intro
00:30
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2. |
I Think Therefore I Rock
03:22
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I think - think that I am
And therefore I am - am ready to rock
I'll rock - rock you apart
Like Rene Descartes - I know that I can
My philosophy is real simple
Gonna squeeze your brain like a pimple
Gonna blow your mind - cause that's what I do!
My philosophy is straightforward
Takin' my guitar - and aim it at you!
I think - I think that I will
Ready to rip - willing to kill
I'll thrill - like Cecil DeMille
Except unlike him - I'm rockin you still!
My philosophy is titanic
Send your kernel into a panic
Got a mind to turn your brain inside out
My approach to life is loud and strong
Jamming with the boys, we rock it till dawn
Solo
This machine is clean and I've oiled it
Time to fish your brain from the toilet
Now it's mine I think you'll think like I do
Cogito Ergo Sum
My pleasure is your doom
Now here's five words for you
I think therefore I rock
I think therefore I rock
I think therefore I rock
I think therefore Iroc
I think therefore I rock
I think therefore I rock
I think therefore I rock
Think think think rock rock rock
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3. |
chapter 1
02:54
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4. |
Lab Coat
01:49
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If you're feeling out of place
Experiment blows up in your face
Just put on your lab coat and hit the town
Boss man looking quite annoyed
Thinks you should be unemployed
So put on your lab coat and hit the town
It's a wonder what a good lab coat will do
Keeps you warm, fits your form
And makes you feel slightly smarter too
Now you're feeling not so great
Could be the arsenic that you ate
So take off your lab coat, and hit the ground
Take it! (guitar solo)
It's amazing what a good lab coat will do
Keeps you warm, fits your form
And makes you feel slightly smarter too
They don't write songs like this no more
We did it cause we got bored
So purchase a lab coat
I said go get a lab coat
And put on that lab coat
And hit the town!
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5. |
chapter 2
00:54
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6. |
Evil Is Fun
03:54
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Evil is fun Evil is fun
It's even more fun when you realize what you've done
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun better light the fuse and run
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun until you kill everyone
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun till you realize what you've done
Your parents probably told you
To be good girls and boys
But you couldn't help but notice
That bad guys had superior toys
Villains all get better vacations
So check out my advice
Heroes have no imagination
It's so boring being nice
But...
Evil is fun Evil is fun
It's even more fun when you realize what you've done
Evil is fun Evil is fun
You're doing it wrong if you're not injuring someone
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun until you kill everyone
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun till you realize what you've done
Once you know you're evil
Time to have some fun
Time to show off your giant robot
Watch the tiny humans run
Wreck a national monument or
Blow apart the moon
Duct tape a little old lady
To an unmanned hot air balloon cause
Evil is fun Evil is fun
It's even more fun when you realize what you've done
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun better light the fuse and run
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun until you kill everyone
Evil is fun Evil is fun
Evil is fun till you realize what you've done
Why did we liquidate Paris?
Why did we turn your hair green?
Was it all some dastardly doing
Or merely because we're mean?
Yeah
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7. |
chapter 3
00:55
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8. |
Too Many Atoms
06:15
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Filbert! There are over 10
Too many atoms in this formula
Filbert! Must I say it again?
Too many atoms in this formula
But it will never be perfect
Rachnid! There are over 5
Too many atoms in this formula
Rachnid! Why are you still alive?
Too many atoms in this formula
But it will never be perfect
Perhaps it's all for nothing
This work I do so well
Am I to be condemned to live
In my own private hell
Of seeking for a breakthrough
That's just beyond my reach
But first I'll just try one last time
To practice what I preach
I need to reach this lofty goal
Just to live with myself
I need the perfect formula
You can't find on a shelf
I'll make it so reality
Cannot bear to resist
To hell with practicality
I will it to exist!
Dr. Z there are over 3
Too many atoms in this formula
Dr. Z, are you listening to me?
Too many atoms in this formula
But it will never be perfect
Formelda! There is only 1
Too many atoms in this formula
Sister! Don't you see what you've done?
Too many atoms in this formula
But it will never be perfect
Wait now... could it be?
Dare I say what I see?
At last I grasp the formula
That long eluded me
I now propose a toast
To he who has the most
Intelligence and mental sense
Please listen while I boast...
It burns!
It burns!
It burns!
It burns!
Why me? Why any one of us?
Why me? Look what you've done to us!
Why me? You brought it on yourself
I can't see! You ruined your own health
Aaaarrrrghhh!!!
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9. |
chapter 4
01:01
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10. |
Science Fight
03:10
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Last night at the lab
Everyone was there
Everyone was having fun
Partying down without a care
Suddenly some chemicals
Got spilled across the room
Everyone started freaking out
And I knew the party was doomed...
Well Drs. Frankenstein and Jeckyl up and started to brawl
And Dr. Phibes hit Dr. Morgus with a medicine ball
Doc Marten threw his sneakers right at Dr. Scholls
And then Doc Oct grabbed Dr. Strange with his tentacles
Dr. Dre started beating eminem's behind
Dr. Spock almost lost his mutha-vulcan mind
Well we were gonna wind it down at midnight
But now it looks like it'll last all night
Because it started as a science party
But then it turned into a science fight
Well Dr. Who tried to strangle me with his scarf
Dr. Phil spiked the lemonade and somebody barfed
Dr. Ruth threw a condom into drumbot's face
And Dr. Pepper just got splattered all over the place
Dr. Watson set a fire with his magnifying glass
Dr. Suess started kicking Dr. Evil's ass
Well we were gonna wind it down at midnight
But now it looks like it'll last all night
Because it started as a science party
But then it turned into a science fight
Bridge:
Just then, somebody spoke up...
What are we fighting for?
Why, we're not here to brawl and such, it's science we adore!
If we used our minds before our fists, this conflict would be through!
So before you fight consider this: "What would Einstein do?"
"Einstein? Oppenheimer could have beat Einstein any day of the last millenium!"
"But Einstein's a GENIUS!"
"But Oppenheimer's Da Bomb!"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh YEAH?!??"
But Dr. Dolittle's monkeys then began to attack
Dr. Demento tried to hide behind the record stack
Dr. J started dribbling all over the floor
Dr. McCoy was just to drunk to find the exit door
Doc Holliday shot someone in the head
Dr. Tischner started gargling and finally dropped dead
Well we were gonna wind it down at midnight
But now it looks like it'll last all night
Because it started as a science party
But then it turned into a science fight
Would the last one in the laboratory
Like to turn out the light
Because it started as a science party
But then it turned into a science fight
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11. |
chapter 5
00:20
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12. |
Lab Girl
04:16
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You've seen her hanging out at all the trendy labs
Scoping out a scientist or two
She's always at the latest lectures picking up the tab
Standing there admiring the view
There must be others like her all around the world
But even so you have to ask - just who's the new lab girl?
You know her kind - she only wants your brain
She's on your mind but no-one knows her name
Lab girl what is your game?
She'll always catch your eye from clear across the room
And help to put it back into your head
She clumsier than some but always wants to lend a hand
Unless the hand in question is undead
She's not concerned with bloodstains on her nurse's dress
You'd use her as a guinea pig but who'd clean up the mess?
You know her kind - she only wants your brain
She's on your mind but no-one knows her name
Lab girl who is to blame?
Lab girl you're overqualified for many minor tasks
Despite the pigmentation of your hair
In light of this do you think it would be too much to ask
That you approach our science with more care
For seldom does a body leave our lab alive
Just keep in mind the twisted fate of lab girls one through five
We know your kind - you're not one to complain
When you lost your mind and then we stole your brain
Left it behind and walked out in the rain
Until next time when we see you again
Lab girl we're glad you came
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13. |
chapter 6
00:39
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14. |
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The redneck cookout was going full swing
Almost everyone in town had just arrived
Folks were throwing on the grill everything that they could kill
And a couple critters that were still alive
Well the meat was running down when Army folks from out of town
Showed up and started bossing us around
They said everyone should leave, and now this you won't believe
The dead were up & crawlin' from the ground
I said hang on right here
I just had a great idea...
We'll have a zombie apocalypse barbecue
And I'll save a couple ribs for you
Even though ya'll were related
You'll be thankful that you ate at
this here zombie apocalypse barbecue
The zombies started gathering
As Bill began a-slathering
The sauce on which he built his family name
But one of the zombies got him
So my sister up and shot him
In the head and then she dumped him in the flame
By the time we started packing up
The zombies were attacking us
They bit me and it caused a bunch of pain
But I heard a zombie say as my life just slipped away
Could we try some of that sauce out on your brain?
I thought why not just let her
The sauce makes everything better
At the zombie apocalypse barbecue
Well even if you don't survive
Be it brains or chicken wings, barbecue's one of those things
Makes you smile just to be alive
At the zombie apocalypse barbecue
We'll save some ribs for you
Whether or not you deserve it
Everybody will get served down at the
Zombie apocalypse barbecue
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15. |
chapter 7
01:18
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16. |
Everyone Dies (But Me)
04:09
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Standing around here
Spinning my wheels
Biding my time dear
You probably know how it feels
It's been a month of Sundays
Since anybody died
But a corpse around here sure would make You people feel alive
Now I'm feeling killer
And looking for a man
And not just any clueless body, understand?
Sophisticated ladies
always set their standards high
So who among you best deserves to die?
Cause everyone dies
Wouldn't you rather be killed by me
I promise that I
Would do it professionally
Don't be so surprised
Look into my eyes and see
It's like the man said
It's to be or not to be
I studied stabbing in Seattle
And poison in Peru
So many lovely ways you can die
I can knit a nasty noose
From the mane hairs of a moose
and you should see my Cuban necktie
Now I'm talking painless
Like a knife in the heart
You'd have to be brainless
To deny that it's an art
A masterpiece of murder
Is my own speciality
It should be displayed in public in a grisly gallery
Cause everyone dies
Wouldn't you rather be killed by me
I promise that I
Would do it professionally
Don't be so surprised
Look into my eyes and see
It's like the man said
It's to be or not to...
Everyone dies
Wouldn't you rather be killed by me
I promise that I
Would do it inventively
Don't be so surprised
It happens eventually
Everyone dies
Everyone dies but me
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17. |
chapter 8
01:35
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18. |
Mallet of Metal
03:48
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In the year 1987 A.D.
The powers of a magic book
Sent three travellers
Men of Willowdale Subdivision
Back to a dark era of magic, monsters, and sorcery
And this is their tale...
Long ago in
An ancient time
Three adventurers
Were sent to find
A shining weapon
Heavy strong and hard
They sent a warrior
A cleric, and a bard
to find the
Mallet of metal x 6
Into the dungeons
They did go
To seek the treasure that was
Hidden far below
So many perils
They would face
To claim the magical
Plus three enchanted mace
they call the
Mallet of metal x 6
Bring the Metal Mallet forth and not the one of wood (Mallet)
Boring biting blighting bludgeon bring the bitter blood (Metal)
Take the Magic Mallet now and see what it can do (Metal Mallet)
Bludgeon blight and beat and bite and break your foes in two
And long would the poets fight
For the right to write
about the fight that night
and the creatures they did smite
beneath the eerie green light
As the dragon's burning breath
Enveloped the stony room
The bard began to sing of his own certain doom
The cleric had to pray, for he knew the end was nigh
The fighter raised his sword, and charged and shouted, "DIE!"
Mallet of metal x 3
The bard has perished
The cleric died
The warrior remained
Aloud he cried
I have the mallet!
He held it in the air
He doffed his helmet
And shook out his long hair
It was the...
Mullet of metal x 6
Bring the shampoo, product and the hairbrush made of wood (Mullet)
Wash and blow and brush and comb and tease the hair up good (Metal)
Bring the Metal Mallet forth and not the one of wood (Metal Mullet)
Boring biting blighting bludgeon bring the bitter blood
Congratulations. You now have the +3 mallet, and 1,500 experience points. The rest of you - please roll new characters. (Awww man!)
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19. |
chapter 9
00:50
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20. |
Do the Creep
02:50
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Noone in the world looks quite the way that I do
But no guy or girl can do the things that I do
If there's something going down you know I planned it
Cause I practice the dark arts so understand it
Or I'll crawl up through your window when you're trying to go to sleep
Like some creep
I've got secret powers and abilities too
I spent hours last night mastering guitar fu
But the time that I spend rocking with my band
Is really only a distraction to my plan
To put spiders in your ears when you're trying to go to sleep
Like some creep
So do the creep! Put your hands behind your back
Then lean backwards till you hear your spine crack
Do the creep! With your hands and feet on the rug
Crawl around like a big disgusting bug
Now you know my story and the way that it ends
And you learned to dance like my arachanid friends
But there's something that to you I must remind
Don't be walkin' like a spider all the time
Or you'll end up getting stepped on like a cockroach in the street
By some creep - and I'm that creep!
Put your hands behind your back
Then lean backwards till you hear your spine crack
Do the creep! With your hands and feet on the rug
Crawl around like a big disgusting bug
Do the creep!
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21. |
chapter 10
01:37
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22. |
Big Bomb
03:56
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I am death, destroyer of worlds
And I'm coming to your town
With the power of a sun in my hands
I'm gonna bring you down
It's a lovely day to be playing with a big bomb
Life's a blast when you're playing with a big bomb
You can't run, and you can't hide
You haven't got a prayer
Lay down and bow to me and I might just
decide to spare your lair
All the gods will kneel before Z
Now that I've got the power
Join my cult or join my harem
Or your soul I will soon devour
It's a lovely day to be playing with a big bomb
You laugh all day when you're playing with a big bomb
You stay on your toes when you're playing with a big bomb
A mushroom cloud arose when I was playing with a big bomb
Hail to the Z man!
I'll kill you all!
I am death, destroyer of worlds
And I'm coming to your town
You'll see a flash, then you'll be ash
You won't even hear a sound
It's a lovely day to be playing with a big bomb
You laugh all day when you're playing with a big bomb
You stay on your toes when you're playing with a big bomb
A mushroom cloud arose when I was playing with a big bomb
10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Ignition
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23. |
chapter 11
00:52
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24. |
Free Bird
00:28
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Free Bird! There's a bird in here for everyone
Free Bird! Giving birds away is so much fun
Free Bird! Birds are going fast, you'd better run
Free Bird! Get a bird for free with every gun
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25. |
chapter 12
01:18
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26. |
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Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
Then rip your eyes out so you cannot see
I was feeling down and dejected
And every day felt more like a curse
Then I thought about the horror
That sleeps deep beneath the waters
And remembered it could get much worse
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
So just how big a friend is Cthulhu?
He's unlike any friend you've ever known
Though he's bigger than a house, he's as quiet as a mouse
Till he comes the rip the flesh right from your bones
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
Now deep within his house at R'lyeh
Dead Cthulhu dreams while waiting for the hour
When he'll rise out of the brine, and come forth to crush your spine
As he shambles forth to show the world his pow'r
Now people, everybody testify before Cthulhu!
girl: I just broke up with my cheating slimeball husband, and I'm waiting for Cthulhu to come back and fix him and his lousy, no good...
guy: Well, actually I didn't used to be able to walk. But, now I can... RUN!!!!
He'll fix all of your problems in a heartbeat
Even if your life's a total mess
Both your mortgage and divorce
Will be washed away of course
With whatever you still owe the IRS
So if you can make friends with Cthulhu
He's the antithesis of all life (he thinks we're scum)
If you see him you'll go deaf
Right before you lose your breath
And cut your ears off with a carving knife
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally (no not at all)
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll gouge your eyes out so you cannot
Tear your eyes out so you cannot
Rip your eyes out so you cannot see
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27. |
chapter 13
01:27
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28. |
Farganargle!
02:31
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I'm in my best lab coat and it started to rain
Farganargle x 4
Then I dropped my keys down in the drain
Farganargle x 4
Maybe there's something wrong with my brain
Farganargle x 4
But why is Pinkerton such a pain
Farganargle x 4
What do you say when normal words don't work
What do you do when your boss is a jerk
When you ask for Dr. Spock and they give you Capt. Kirk
Oh no x 3
Starting to get kind of annoyed
Farganargle x 4
Work's getting harder to avoid
Farganargle x 4
Everything I touch gets destroyed
Farganargle x 4
Sat down and found I had hemmoroids
Farganargle x 4
I can't take much more of this crap
Couple minutes more and I'm gonna snap
Admiral Ackbar I think it's a trap
Oh no x 3
Far too agitated to pretend
Farganargle x 4
Time for Filbert to get his revenge
Farganargle x 4
Lab monkeys are my only friends
Farganargle x 4
Test monkey 7 will be avenged
Farganargle x 4
Why does everything happen to me?
I'm so excited I can almost pee
I just wanna play D&D!
Oh no x 3
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29. |
chapter 14
01:35
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30. |
outro
00:05
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Consortium of Genius New Orleans, Louisiana
Deep within their secret lair, a cabal of mad scientists and one smart-alecky robot are hatching an evil plot: TO ROCK the EARTH into OBLIVION!
Consortium of Genius recommends:
These guys ROCK... and they have an awesome spaceship! This may be because we have not yet stolen the aforementioned spaceship, but of course that still doesn't change the fact that they ROCK.
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